Embracing Shitty Days

Great Morning Y'all!

Today, I want to share how expressing our true feelings is what people yearn for.

A FEW WEEKS AGO

A few weeks ago, I was at a dinner with my girlfriend and a few of our friends.

It was partially a celebration of myself and Elle buying a house,

and also just a much-needed catch-up dinner with the squad.

This day in particular, I was just feeling off.

No real rhyme or reason to it, but I felt irritated all day.

I had probably scrolled on my phone too much and skipped going on my normal routine of meditation and walks,

but either way, I was just having a shitty day.

A friend at the table asked me how my day was, and I told him...

"Ehh, it's been pretty shitty.

Nothing in particular, I'm just not feeling great.

Hopefully this pork chop will fix that, haha."

After saying something like this, we moved on to another, more deeper set of topics.

My friend later said they needed to hear that.

They were having the same type of day.

So me saying it allowed him to also just be real about what he was feeling.

We could see their whole body just exhale immediately.

In a world where everyone's response is "good" or "fine", it's refreshing to hear something real.

Something that feels human.

IT WASN'T ALWAYS THIS WAY

I remember, for most of my life, if I wasn't feeling my absolute best, I wouldn't step out of the house.

If I didn't have a smile on my face,

and my best outfit ready to go,

nobody was going to see me.

I've begun to go deeper into why this was...

Why I needed to feel perfect for every situation I was in?

I came to the conclusion that it's just a story I've been telling myself for decades.

I'm a full-grown adult...

What if I choose to only go to the events I want to,

and show up in whatever mood I'm in.

I'm not going to barge into the restaurant,

stand on the table,

and declare to the group that I'm having a bad day.

Of course not. I'm going to be a "normal" human.

I'm going to do my best to be present and have a good time.

But the idea that everyone at dinner must act like their day or mood is a perfect 10 doesn't feel right to me.

It's funny how every time I'm asked how I'm feeling,

and I give a more real answer besides "good,"

the entire energy of the table shifts.

It doesn't turn into some pity party about how everyone's day was bad,

but it initiates everyone to take off the mask they would have worn throughout the entire dinner.

It immediately shifts the energy,

and every time I've done it,

it has led to more raw, authentic conversations than a normal night out.

This is exactly where the entire self-help industry misses the mark...

The goal isn't to be happy all the time,

the goal is to love ourselves enough to freely express how we feel in any given moment.

EXTREME INTROVERSION

I'm also an extreme introvert and a homebody...

So even the most exciting event that would have everything I could ever want,

Like someone telling me that a Ferrari will be outside my doorstep,

And that I'm meant to drive it to my favorite steakhouse,

have my favorite foods, steak and sushi,

and then roll up to the Crypto Arena to sit courtside to watch the Lakers vs Bucks playoff game.

I'd still be like...

"Ehh, I'm good just chilling at home. Thanks though!"

So most events, even the ones that are tailor-made for my enjoyment,

most of the time I'd still pass on it.

CONCLUSION

This is just a little side note that I felt like writing.

Being honest about my bad days has led to deeper, more genuine conversations.

The more we love ourselves, the more we accept not being perfect for everyone.

I hope this feels valuable to you.

That's it for today.

I hope you know that you are loved and enough.

See you tomorrow,

I unconditionally love you all.

-Cameron Hogan